When was the last time you sat down with your team to discuss their preferred ways of working? More specifically, have you ever taken the time to ask them, either individually or as a group, about their ideal work styles and the environment in which they thrive? If it’s been a long time—or if you’ve never considered it—here’s why it’s so important, along with some concrete steps you can take to make a meaningful difference.
Each time a person joins or leaves your team it alters the social and operational dynamics. While we often focus on the impact these changes have on workloads, project assignments, or client relationships, we rarely pause to consider the effects these changes may have on team culture or individual preferences. Let’s explore some real-world scenarios that illustrate why understanding and openly discussing team preferences is critical for a healthy and effective workplace.
Consider Curtis, a seemingly perfect new addition to your team. Curtis has a young child he needs to drop off at school each morning, so his workday starts at 8:30 AM. As a considerate leader, you approve his schedule without a second thought. But Curtis soon discovers that the rest of the team begins work at 7. By the time he arrives, work tasks have already been distributed, and he consistently feels left out, behind, and disconnected from the team’s momentum. Over time, this sense of exclusion erodes his confidence and sense of belonging, ultimately prompting him to look for a job elsewhere.
Now imagine Anne, the administrative backbone who’s been with your company since its earliest days. Anne’s deep knowledge of office operations is invaluable. Then, a new leader introduces Slack as the exclusive channel for office communication. Overwhelmed by the number of digital tools already in use, Anne opts not to use Slack. As it quickly becomes the primary means of communication, Anne finds herself increasingly frustrated, feeling forced to abandon a system that served her well for years.
Micah and BJ have enjoyed a successful five-year partnership, driving significant profits for the company and building lasting client relationships. Now, with Micah relocating out of state due to his spouse’s new opportunity, BJ is left to consider how his work life will change without his trusted collaborator by his side.
Lastly, think about Nikole, who is part of a team where each member brings specialized expertise to complex client projects. Coordinating meetings is a constant struggle, as everyone’s calendars rarely overlap. With tight deadlines approaching, Nikole grows anxious that the team won’t deliver on client promises, fearing a breakdown in collaboration due to the lack of shared understanding around working preferences and scheduling norms.
Each of these situations could be resolved—or even prevented—simply by creating space for open, honest conversations about team members’ preferences, expectations, and working norms.
The first time your team tackles this discussion, be sure to dedicate plenty of uninterrupted time—ranging from a few hours to an entire day, depending on your team’s size and complexity. Why invest so much time? Because every team member deserves the opportunity to be heard, and the best, most sustainable decisions come from collaborative dialogue. This process requires thoughtful, inclusive conversation where everyone feels safe to share.
Make it a habit to revisit these team norms whenever someone new joins or leaves the team, or when there are major changes—such as launching a new project, restructuring, or adopting new technologies. At a minimum, schedule these conversations annually to ensure everyone stays aligned as circumstances evolve.
Whenever possible, consider bringing in an external facilitator to lead the session. A neutral facilitator offers an impartial perspective, helping to manage group dynamics and keep the conversation focused and productive. In my experience facilitating these sessions, I prioritize ensuring every voice is heard equally, and I work to keep emotions from derailing the process or clouding decision-making.
If you have never initiated a team norms discussion before, now is the perfect time to start! These conversations not only enhance communication and mutual understanding but also foster trust between leaders and team members. When people feel listened to, supported, and genuinely valued for their input and preferences, teams become more efficient, function more cohesively, and are far less likely to experience high turnover. Investing time in these conversations boosts morale and lays the groundwork for ongoing team success.
