Ever feel like you haven’t earned what you’ve achieved, that you’ll be discovered a fraud, or that everyone knows what they’re doing but you?
If so, you’re far from alone. It’s called Imposter Syndrome, and research shows an astonishing 82 percent of us have experienced it. Imposter syndrome causes you to downplay your accomplishments and worth, doubt your intellect and skills, and discount your expertise and experience.
Before we get to the “fix” here, know that it might be something deeper than imposter syndrome at work. It might not be about you, but about the environment you work in that’s triggering what you’re feeling. It might be a workplace with deep biases, that doesn’t value diversity, inclusion, and belongingness. Solutions for that lie elsewhere. Here, we’ll focus on what you can control; keeping imposter syndrome from imposing on your confidence. Do so by embracing any of the following strategies, as I’ve detailed in my book, The Mentally Strong Leader.
- Own your accomplishments.
Instead of feeling unworthy of where you’re at, undeserving of praise or attention, ask yourself these questions:
- Where am I underestimating and underappreciating myself?
- What should I give myself more credit for?
- What simply would not have happened, were it not for me?
Here’s a useful trick. First ask yourself, “What are the external factors that contributed to how I got to where I am?” List them out. Then, ask yourself, “Now, what are the internal factors?” Doing this allows you to get that typical first reaction response out of the way, where you assign credit for your success to everything else but you. Then you can focus on your unique contributions to your success.
It also helps here to pay attention to how you react when you’re given a compliment. Don’t dismiss, embrace. It helps build your skill for appreciating who you are, and what you’ve accomplished.
One final trick on this front. Play defense attorney. Meaning, imagine you’re an attorney who must build a case to defend why you’re in the role/position/standing that you are (i.e., the status you’ve achieved that you’re doubtful of). What facts support that you belong there? Where is self-skepticism clouding the truth?
For example, say you’re starting a new job, and you feel unqualified or not ready, even though your résumé shows you’re the perfect fit. Set your emotions aside and objectively build your “case” for why you belong. What qualifications and experiences stood out on your résumé? What strengths will serve you well in the new role? When have you “risen to the occasion” before to accomplish something that initially seemed like a stretch?
For some, focusing on your accomplishments will still produce a “Yeah but…” reaction. You might still focus on all the ways you’re inadequate. Enter the next strategy.
- Be open to imposter discomfort, closed to imposter thoughts.
Clinical psychologist Jill Stoddard stresses the importance of being able to sit with discomfort, to move forward with your life plan despite the nagging feelings of imposter syndrome. It’s known simply as “acceptance” in psychology circles. As Stoddard says, “When you’re willing to allow discomfort, you greatly broaden your options for choosing behaviors.” In other words, yes, you might have doubts about whether or not you can really lead the team in your new role. But learning to be okay with it, to let that sit in the background, allows you to focus on deciding how to do it best, not if you can do it.
At the same time, try detaching yourself from your imposter thoughts. When they pop up, imagine them inside a cartoon bubble, floating above your head, completely detached from you.
You know these thoughts aren’t trying to help you move toward the life you want to live, so why listen?
- Think of your value(s) rather than your valuation.
Yes, I’m referring here to both your value and your values. First, focus on the unique value you bring to the table, not your “valuation,” what others might think you do, or don’t, deserve. What skills, strengths, and perspective do you undeniably offer?
And, think of your values, too—what you stand for, what represents your primary way of being. When imposter feelings make you cast doubt on yourself, keeping you from embracing the life you want to live, booing you from the cheap seats, your values are cheering you on from the front row. They’re your reminder that what you’re doing matters, that it supports what you stand for, no matter what anyone thinks.
For instance, yes, you may feel others are doubting that you can take on that teaching role at the local university. But you know that role is completely in line with your values of encouraging learning and helping others become the best versions of themselves. So, the imposter voice gets put on mute.
- Share your feelings and failures.
Share your “imposter feelings” with people you trust. Odds are, they’ll make you rethink your perceived shortcomings and rebuild your confidence. After all, they know you best, and can provide historical perspective on when you’ve doubted yourself before, and it turned out to be unwarranted. Share your failures, too, to get help putting them into perspective (as opposed to seeing them as disasters).
For example, say you’re feeling like an imposter because you failed to hit your quarterly profit goal. When talking with a friend who has the same job you do, you learn that, she too, has missed her target on occasion, survived, learned from it, and grown stronger because of it.
Bottom line, follow these four strategies, and your imposter syndrome will be the one feeling like an unwanted imposter.
